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The art of not holding on too tight

I was going to write today about realism but then I watched MAFS and I feel we need to talk about spiritual ideas that get a used as weapons against people...

If you haven't seen it, there is one person who is belittling his partner by saying she will never be as important as the universe, that relationships and earthly worries do not matter and that she is too emotionally immature and unadvanced to understand his non-attachment.

He's a peach.

(That was sarcasm).

So let's clear this up!

Non-attachment is about holding things lightly - like how you would let a bird rest on your hand instead of gripping it and crushing it - it is NOT about being a selfish a*se who devalues other people. You can love someone and be spiritual, unless you choose to be a monk in which case just... disappear off and be a monk! Yes you may be accepting of the changes that happen in life, more able to handle loss, and not seeking for other people to fix you - all great stuff - BUT you can also take joy in others and respect and cherish them. In fact, being of service is also a big spiritual theme. Letting go of your own needs she serving love and partnership would actually be a MORE spiritual approach to take. Non-attachment does not mean not caring, it just means never holding on too tightly.

In fact, the clue is that this guy is really inconsistent - he is not attached to or appreciative of human beings but he is VERY attached to his own 'adventurous' exploits (if you've seen it you will know what I mean!). You can't pick and choose!

So if you ARE looking to be a little more zen about stuff then the real question to ask yourself is 'how tightly am I holding onto this? Am I holding it lovingly? Am I crushing it to death?'. The number of times in my life I have held on for dear life when it was hurting me and others involved...! THAT as when to loosen your grip.

Let me know what you are holding too tightly...?


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